The Only Thing We Have To Fear…
Of course, it’s fear itself. Surely, one of the finest proclamations in history, is it not? And yet, so few of us actually seize the opportunities we are given to implement this wisdom. Why?
Because we’re afraid… that’s why.
We’re afraid that we might actually reach for something higher than the inferior set of standards by which we’ve become accustom and instead we tell ourselves that tomorrow might be a better day to take that leap, or make that call, or ask that question, or think that way.
A week ago, my wedding photographer (who I love, by the way… go here to see their amazing work), commented on a blog post that I wrote and forwarded me a link to another blog she thought was similar in nature to Chasing Possible.
After visiting said blog and reading through the most recent entries, my response was… OH. MY. GOSH. I must figure out a way to meet this person. He IS Chasing Possible.
Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m a self-help junkie and I’m easily moved by inspirational stories. But even though that’s true, it’s rare such a story ignites my enthusiasm to the point of being jolted from my desk chair like a crazed sports fan in the last seconds of a title-clenching championship as I read.
I found myself all alone in my office, yelling at my computer screen… “Just do it, David! Jump!” as if he might somehow hear me when I speak directly into my keyboard.
The blog I’m referencing is called “Jump David, Jump” and the author of this blog was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor (which by the way is not the reason for my crazed sports fan behavior, nor is it the reason I’m screaming for him to “jump”). His tumor is not what makes this story impactful… well it’s partially why… but let me explain.
What makes this story so fascinating is how he has taken his prognosis and turned it into opportunity to face his fear. Not the fear of his tumor, mind you, the fear of what’s behind it. He’s responding to his diagnosis and trips to various doctors and specialists by combining his medical discoveries with an honest dose of self-reflection and he delivers it with humor and sincerity.
This all ties together… I promise.
In David’s latest post (which I read this afternoon), there is a passage that explains fear far better than I ever could and also explains the reason why we don’t instinctively face our fears head on…
Here is exactly what he wrote:
THIS, ladies and gentleman, is what TRUTH in FEAR looks like.
What we hold inside and never let out can eventually make us sick, cynical, crazy, depressed, or any other rotten combination of emotionally dysfunctional versions of ourselves. And for what? To save ourselves the pain and agony of ridicule? Well, I have news for you. David’s onto something.
The longer you hold back on what it is you actually want… the longer you’ll have to endure the type of ridicule that’s way worse than all the people you’re linked to on Facebook, laughing at you simultaneously. Self-doubt is way worse than that. Face it, we package fear and hand it to ourselves like it’s a gift. We are our own worst enemies.
One of my very first posts was about the innocence of who we are at the age of five (go here if you want to read about it) and the fact that we believe we can do anything, be anything or have anything. It’s such a universal truth in fact, that Walt Disney built an empire on that innocence and imagination.
However, somewhere along the way, something happens to us. We go through life and people tell us we’re stupid, and we’re teased by our peers, and we suffer mass amounts of hurt and disappointment or worse… things so unimaginable that I wouldn’t even know how to write about them because my life was a cake walk in comparison.
And we use all that “life garbage” and turn it into our own version of the truth. And we hand over our mental money and buy into the idea that whatever bad thing anybody ever told us to be true about ourselves must in fact, be true. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have said it… right?
So, here’s my question:
What will it take to get you to scrap that idea and face the fear?
My hope is that your answer does not involve a brain tumor. My hope is that something else will spark your need to discover your own unique something that’s calling you out of your own comfort zone and leading you directly into the fear you work so hard to avoid.
And the only rule in facing that fear is this: HONESTY RULES. Because the moment you get honest is the moment you are forced to leap. That is also the exact moment you will undoubtedly encounter that very fear… and your only option is to move through it. It’s not even required that you move through it with grace and style. You can trudge through it like a soldier covered in mud and moss by the time you’re on the other side, but the point is… move through it.
I actually want to open this topic for discussion because I’m curious.
What is your biggest fear? Or maybe more appropriate… What is the biggest lie you tell yourself, regularly?
Is it that you’re not adequate? Or is it that you might just be equipped beyond your wildest dreams to do something you never thought possible, but fear is getting in your way?
What is the worst that could happen if you try and then fail?
And finally… what on earth are you waiting for?
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August 8th, 2009 at 6:56 am
Thank you for exploring this topic! I look forward to reading your blog more. Keep writing, you’re very good!
August 8th, 2009 at 9:28 am
David…
Thank YOU! Thank you for inspiring me to write. And thank you for inspiring the rest of the world with your incredible story. I can’t wait to continue watching it all unfold.
August 8th, 2009 at 11:57 am
You knocked it out of the park with this post, Bobbi! I’m going to keep this one handy as a personal reference and am also going to forward it to many friends that I know will love it as well.
You really are a gifted writer! Particularly love the sentence, “Face it, we package fear and hand it to ourselves like it’s a gift.”
Please keep doing what you’re doing!
August 10th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
My current fear is not living to my potential. As I am getting older, I am realizing the importance of potential and what that does to your ego/self confidence. My mother always says you know when you have reached your potential when you, “rise to your level of incompetence” aka: Peter’s Principle.
My fear is the world is passing me by and I am not reaching for my potential. My fear is I will be left in the dust of my peers as they rise to their own levels of incompetence. Have I reached that level yet? I don’t believe I have. I do know I am not 100% happy in my current level of competence and am confident I can do so much more. There are some obstacles, aka excuses… the economy, job/potential availability, the fact I don’t know where to go next and the biggest… my own comfort level would drop by levels I have never known.
These excuses give me time to wait it out as my fear grows. The phrase, “There is no time like the present” resonates in my head yet my complacency paralyzes me to make a move. It could also be called laziness. or is it fear? sigh…
What would be the worst that happened if I reached for my potential? I have to work harder than before? Could I be financially strapped?
I find I have reached my level of incompetency?
So, what will it take to begin to reach? If I was to be honest, and this is what we are talking about, I would say at this point it would have to be handed to me. It’s that simple. Am I proud of that? NO! But, it’s honest.
August 10th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Your friend Lori told me about your blog today and wow - she was right on leading me here. My biggest failure has always been the fear of failure and it has kept me in a prison for years. The past year however I have been challenging them one by one - leaving an abusive marriage after 15 years, making it on my own, re-entering college, stretching myself in my career etc…Lately I am challenged with taking a dive into full self employment - leaving the security of the known…working on this.
August 11th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Shannon…
Congratulations to you, for challenging yourself and facing your fears head on - especially as it relates to your marriage. It takes courage, heart, and sometimes dangling at the end of our rope before we finally decide to take that leap.
What I love about stretching and growing and the choices we make to move toward a life full of possibility is that everything changes almost immediately in our favor the moment we decide things must be different - including who we are and what we do. It’s all immediately affected in a positive way because we are “choosing” instead of “allowing”. Choosing, in and of itself is a giant step.
Keep going in the direction you know you were meant to go. I encourage you to listen to that little voice that says you know what you want and you can do it… Please keep me updated on your next big step of potential self-employment. I’m so excited for you!!
August 11th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Lori…
First I have to say thank you… for sharing a glimpse of your true, raw, honest self. Second, you are not alone in your questions; of that I am absolutely certain.
I think we all have a certain level of complacency that we reach at different intervals in our lifetime. And sometimes we fall into the trap of kidding ourselves that NOT choosing is way easier than having to decide what we actually want - out of life, in our relationships, out of a job or career, etc. But the truth is that NOT choosing only exacerbates the fear within us (i.e. as you said, “my complacency paralyzes me to make a move”).
So I have a question for you…
What if you simply explored some other options? And what if you only looked at the options that sounded fun to you? And what if you just played with the idea that you were only going to choose things that brought you increased financial stability - not something that drained your bank account?
You wouldn’t have to quit your job tomorrow, you wouldn’t have to be financially strapped, and you wouldn’t even have to work that hard at exploring your options.
Discovering what’s possible for your life is actually supposed to be a fun process and if done right, never feels like hard work at all.
Take the “should’s”, the “have to’s” out of the equation and only do what makes you 100% happy. That’s what living your potential truly is - it’s YOUR definition of success… not someone else’s.
August 14th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I wanted to let you know that “I jumped!” I handed in my resignation today - Wow what a feeling! It was amazing how creative my mind became for business possibilities once I lept…I am excited for the future thinking about the possibilities!
August 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Shannon…
Congratulations on your leap! Where will your creative possibilities take you?
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
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