Chasing Possible

Getting clear about things seems to be a consistent theme filtering through my life and the lives of those who’ve crossed my path lately.  Clarity is one of those elusive terms that are easy to use in general conversation, but difficult and somewhat daunting to achieve by comparison.

Example:  Ask yourself What do I want right now?

You’ll most likely respond with something directly related to what you’re doing at this very moment. You might tell yourself you want to get home because you’re stuck in traffic, or you want a cheeseburger because your stomach is growling or in my case, I want a pair of socks because my feet are cold.

However, when you broaden the spectrum and ask the same question as it relates to what you want out of life in general, the answers somehow become wrapped in confusion.

When I ask someone that I’m coaching, So what is it that you really want?; instead of a decided response I usually hear something to the effect of “I don’t know” or “I just want to be happy” or “I just want a job”.

See, if we’re only given the option of deciding on something simple that affects our immediate situation we can usually answer the question of what we want (i.e. socks) without doubt or hesitation, but when asked to step outside of that immediate realm of reality and get specific about something that seems far more important (like finding a job), we freeze.

As if we can have the simple stuff, but we’re not allowed to use that same logic for the stuff that really matters.  If someone told me I couldn’t get a pair of socks right now, I’d politely push them aside and march to my dresser anyway (by the way, I’ve already put on my socks… problem solved).  My point is, why don’t we do that when it matters?

There is this crazy belief that we can’t have it all so instead we just take what comes our way and we “deal” with it.  In that respect I think the recession we’re in is good for all of us.  Why not be forced to look at our current position in life with a fresh set of eyes?  How many situations would be different if there were people leading lives of clarity and direction all over the planet?

As human beings we have a propensity for living in reactionary mode based on the circumstances that surround us.  It’s just how we’re wired.  Deciding what to do next, based on what has already happened is fairly status quo and logically makes sense.  After all, aren’t the lessons we learn and the memories we create out of our past a large part of how we make decisions about our future?  Absolutely.

What I’m referring to though is more along the lines of choosing first and letting the rest of the details fall into place.  If I want a better job for instance, I might think about it and complain about it for a long time until one day something happens that forces me to make a decision one way or the other, like being laid off or being offered a position with another company.  Likewise, if I’m unemployed or seeking employment and my objective is to just get a job that comes with a paycheck (as is the plight of so many right now) my odds of finding that job with a paycheck are greater if I specifically know what I’m looking for.

It’s easier to allow ourselves to accept the misconception that having what we want is just a fairytale and is reserved only for the chosen few; or we might even consider that we can have what we want, but only within certain parameters (that we set by ourselves, of course).  Either way, somewhere deep down we subconsciously believe that admitting what you want is the equivalent of committing some serious crime that no one talks about at parties.  It’s almost an unwritten rule that you must keep it to yourself if you want something bigger than what you have (i.e. you’re selfish, it’s not attainable, get your head out of the clouds, etc.).

True those fears may be from a societal standpoint, but I still wish to challenge that thought process by asking what if? 

What if the way to lead an extraordinary life was to simply be clear about what we want in the first place?  At least then we’d know what we’re aiming for.

I’ve put this theory to work in my own life.  And though I consistently struggle against it (as is human nature), I know that when I personally get clear about something, things seem to magically fall into place.  I’ve landed jobs, sold cars, and found a mate (I kid you not) using clarity as my backdrop.  It’s not crazy to think big.  It’s only crazy NOT to.

So, what if… you dared ask the question about something that matters to you?

And, what if… you really meant the answer?

Aren’t you the least bit curious?